A love so true.

Today I reminisced.
I spoke of all our memories.
Every detail, relived every moment.
And for the first time, I missed how I felt, the purity of my love, but I didn’t miss you. I just missed my ability to feel so deeply.

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A sky of hope.

Every day is a struggle, every breath is shaky and heavy.
Every step I take, I hope would be my last, cause it’s too much, the weight of surviving is more than I can bear.
But at the end of every night, the stars shine at me, and I am grateful.
And I know, the next day, the next moment, the next second might be hard. But I’ll make it. I believe this.

To carry on.

Today I stopped that thought in my head that routinely pops by to remind me of my miseries.
Yesterday I allowed it to take me to the edge of a familiar blade that danced with my skin to the rhythm of my heart, kissing the blood within.
Tomorrow I may yet fight my demons or I may submit to my thoughts of agony or just refuse to deal with any of it.
The point is, I will keep going.
I will not let the darkest parts of me win.
I will scrape through till I find hope and I will carry on.
I may not win this war, but I won’t lose.

Nothing.

I gave parts of myself to all those who walked into my life, and now I’m one piece away from being nothing.

Acting.

I contain my sadness behind pressed eyelids, and act the role of a lifetime. I’ve convinced everyone that I am fine.
If only they knew, all the tears that I’ve refused, pour out of my skin in a bloody river, night after night.

It’s not you.

I don’t miss you anymore.
But I do miss the way you used to look at me, hold me, the way you’d lay your head on my shoulders as we listened to our songs, and I’d feel no weight at all.
I don’t miss you.
I miss what we had.

Time flies.

When the day gets engulfed in silence and the moon comes out to shine, my mind takes me on a journey through time, back to the days when I was yours and you, mine.

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