People always ask me why its so hard for me to trust people. Sometimes, they’re nice in asking so, other times they are not.

I am not going to apologize for having trust issues.

Its like when someone tells me a secret of their’s they immediately  expect you to share your secrets with them and when you don’t, hell freezes over and apparently you are going to screw them over the first chance you get.

It seems to me like everyone has trouble trusting others. Which is why nowadays you only trust those on whom you have leverage. A safety net.

I’m not so cruel as to use you’re own secrets against you. And if you think I am, you should look into your own issues before pointing your fingers at mine.

Its not easy to live like this. I have panic attacks and my anxiety is off the  charts and I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. But I can’t.

Every time I think about letting some of my problems out I become so paranoid thinking about the possible disastrous outcomes that I end up having another panic attack.

I’ve almost forgotten what happiness feels like.

But I’m at peace with having random outbursts, rather than trusting a person then questioning their every move as a ploy to ruin me.

I’m better this way.

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