The worst is being forgotten by someone you can never forget.
And one of the hardest things in life is having to decide whether to walk away or try harder.
And sometimes I just wanna give up and crawl under my covers and cry and cry till sleep gives me relief. But I’ll never tell anyone this. Because I know they won’t understand.
And I smile all the time so nobody gets to know how sad I really am.
I’m my own enemy.
I beat myself up.
And I can never say all this out loud.
Its best if everyone just ignored me.
Because when someone asks me “Are you OK??”
What I want to say is “No. I’m not OK. I’m falling apart inside out. I feel abandoned, hurt, like I don’t matter, useless, invisible, like I don’t belong and like no one cares and they’re all just pretending. And I’m afraid of getting forgotten because everyone I get close to ends up forgetting me.” But all I say is “I’m fine.”
People don’t really want to hear your problems, because they have their own problems to deal with.
So, I stopped talking about how I felt because I knew no one cared anyway.