My demons are back, stronger than ever. And they’re looking for a win. And I just may let them.

I’m so broken I can feel it.

I want to know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and not feel sad and look forward to the day ahead.

Everyday is a struggle.

I’m drowning and its becoming visible.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

They keep saying that it’ll get better. But when?

And the time when I got asked, ” Who did what to you to make you put up a wall shutting off the rest of the world? ” all I could do was smile and shrug.

What else am I supposed to do?

This feeling of worthlessness, it won’t go away.

People try to distract me, to keep me happy.

But there’s so much pain and I don’t know how not to notice it, it never stops.

I’m sick and tired of trying to hide the mess that I am.

I’m not fucking fine. I look in the mirror and see nothing I like.

Behind my smile is a hurting heart, a broken soul and an empty void.

I might seem strong, but I’m deteriorating inside and out.

I’m the type of person that will sit in the bathroom and cry and then walk out like nothing ever happened.

I feel like crap.

And all I seem to be able to do is feel it.

 

 

 

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