My demons are back, stronger than ever. And they’re looking for a win. And I just may let them.
I’m so broken I can feel it.
I want to know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and not feel sad and look forward to the day ahead.
Everyday is a struggle.
I’m drowning and its becoming visible.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
They keep saying that it’ll get better. But when?
And the time when I got asked, ” Who did what to you to make you put up a wall shutting off the rest of the world? ” all I could do was smile and shrug.
What else am I supposed to do?
This feeling of worthlessness, it won’t go away.
People try to distract me, to keep me happy.
But there’s so much pain and I don’t know how not to notice it, it never stops.
I’m sick and tired of trying to hide the mess that I am.
I’m not fucking fine. I look in the mirror and see nothing I like.
Behind my smile is a hurting heart, a broken soul and an empty void.
I might seem strong, but I’m deteriorating inside and out.
I’m the type of person that will sit in the bathroom and cry and then walk out like nothing ever happened.
I feel like crap.
And all I seem to be able to do is feel it.