It’s getting insanely frustrating for me.
The hold that you seem to have over my heart and mind.
I keep telling myself you’re not worth it. That it’s all for the best that you and I didn’t work out.
And every time my mind convinces me that I’m over you, that I’ve moved on.
I see a drawing of Pokemon and remember your childlike smile as you showed me your first sketching.
I see the pouring rain and think of that day we spent goofing around, splashing about in the rain and planning out our future together.
I wake up in the middle of the night, and remember all those times you called somehow knowing that I would be awake.
And even now when I need to vent, you somehow know and call saying you felt like hearing my voice and suddenly all my problems disappear.
I keep telling myself I’ll get over you, all the while remembering the countless moments that scream to me. Begging me to hold on.
Because regardless of what’s happened, regardless of our obvious flaws.
I see my mind flooded with memories of us, all the tears and smiles.
And I’m happy.
You were my first love.
And, I can’t help but hope you’ll be my last.