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Heartbreak

21.

I would have done anything for you,

but that isn’t how I know that my love was pure.

The day I helped you get the girl you loved,

though it killed me to do so is how I know.

You and I may be history now and I’ve moved on,

but dark times are ahead of me and I may get lost.

It is at times like these when I recap on my feelings for you,

knowing I experienced love at its purest is my flashlight to make it out alive.

My heart is whole again with no thanks to you,

I’ve recovered from all you put me through.

I remember when you said to me ” Not now, give me time, give me till you’re 21.”,

Now I’m left with 21 scars reminding me of you.

 

 

 

 

Lost And Found

She felt dead inside,
roaming about aimlessly.
With nowhere to hide,
she faced the darkness fearlessly.

So used to the hate,
she was startled to find.
That her seemingly ferocious fate,
had in store for her love in kind.

Afraid, she let him pursue,
her walls had now vanished.
Her faith in life started to renew,
as he held her tight as though famished.

The sad, lonely girl had long since disappeared,
she was now brand new.
All the pain, hurt and fear,
compared with her overwhelming joy seemed few.

They Don’t Know About Us.

It’s frustrating,  how you seem so okay. 

While I’m struggling to keep myself sane.

It hasn’t been easy. Nothing has been since you turned your back on me.

People tell me that I shouldn’t miss you.

That I should be mad at you for the hell you’re putting me through.

But more often than that, they tell me “Just move on.”

Like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

And that is when I get mad.

They say it like I’m trying my very best not to.

They say it because they don’t know about us.

And they never will, because irregardless of the rumors they’ve heard and the stories I myself may have narrated.

No one will ever truly understand us. Because, they weren’t there. They can’t possibly know how you made me feel when you looked into my eyes like I was all that mattered.

When you held my hand and suddenly my world fell into place.

How you made me believe and do the things I’d never imagined.

How though, I want to hate you for making me cry,  I can’t because I love you too much to feel anything else.

No one understood then, and they don’t now.

And that’s okay.

Because they don’t know how we were. 

Come back?

You will always be my first love. Though I believed you would be my last, I was wrong. 

I know I should move on.

And I’m trying to.

But I can’t help missing you.

I can’t help but miss the way we were.

The way you made me believe in love and life with just one look.

I can’t help but tear up when I think about the moments we spent together.

I’ll move on eventually,  this I’m sure of.

But as of now, I miss you.

I miss us.

Where are you now? 

It takes all I have in me not to break down crying.

The hope that kept me going has died, and I can feel my fire burning out. 

I thought I would handle losing you with grace.

The truth is I want you to be happy, with all my heart.

But I can’t pretend that it isn’t killing me to see that it’s her who makes you happy.

I guess I thought that if I could feel so much for you that maybe, you might feel something back.

I was wrong.

Whenever I stumbled you’d be there to pick me up.

Now that you’ve let go, I’m lost.

Grief.

Hope kept me sane,
It had me believe.
Now it’s lost in a world so mundane,
And all I do is grieve.

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Stone Cold.

The sadness that washes over me is one I’ve never known.

Staring into an abyss I’ve never felt more alone.

I brought this upon myself,  this is a pain I chose.

Yet, when faced with its reality, I just stood there,  I froze.

My love for you runs through my blood and veins.

And its left its mark on my pillowcase as tear drop stains.

Blue Days.

An idle mind is the devil’s workshop, couldn’t be more justified.

As she sat staring at the sky,remembering his blue eyes.

Just when she was so close to moving on,  she reeled herself back into the devil’s den.

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